By Maria Morava
A Reddit user has shared a frustrating encounter at a bank, sparking a discussion about the challenges faced by those with mobility issues. The post detailed how a woman parked in a handicapped ramp spot, forcing the user to navigate a difficult situation with her grandmother, who was recovering from surgery. Since it was posted, it has received over 8,000 upvotes. Newsweek spoke to an etiquette expert about the situation and how the poster could have responded.The user, u/owlindenial, wrote about the stressful incident: “Gran gran had a few surgeries recently, meant she was lying in a hospital bed for a while. Having trouble moving. Hasn’t been able to go to the bank to take care of some things so I offered to take her. When we got there, parking was an issue.”The person described circling the lot multiple times, searching for an accessible space. Faced with limited options, they decided to “just lower her and park far away.” However, upon returning to the only handicap spot with a ramp, they found it occupied.Exhausted by the search, the user parked directly behind the car blocking the ramp. “I’m tired of doing laps and that’s the only ramp, so I park behind the dame and calmly lower and set up the wheelchair and help granny to her chair,” they wrote. “I only slowed her down by like a minute, if two, but I hope she felt at least some shame.”Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the poster, appreciating their passive aggressive response.”Report her,” one person responded. “This is why entitled folks get away with horrible behavior, and they never get that reality check.””Expecting shame from shameless people is not necessary,” another wrote. “They are too selfish.”An Expert Complicates the PictureWhile many commenters sided with the poster, some acknowledged potential nuance in the situation. Jo Hayes, an etiquette expert, spoke to Newsweek about the situation and the assumptions being made on behalf of the poster.Hayes first acknowledged their frustration.”I certainly feel for the poster, and their gran,” she said. “Parking issues, in such circumstances, would certainly be frustrating鈥攅specially if it appears that a non-handicapped person has parked in the handicapped zone.”However, she also cautioned against quick judgments, reminding readers that disabilities aren’t always visible.”I must gently remind the poster to remember that things are not always as it seems,” Hayes said. “How do they know that this other woman is not handicapped herself, with full rights to use this parking spot? There are many types of handicapped鈥攏ot always ‘obvious.’ Perhaps she has mobility issues herself. Perhaps her handicapped sticker or card, usually displayed on the dashboard wasn’t visible to you, from where you parked behind her.”While acknowledging that it wasn’t “necessarily ‘wrong'” of the poster to stop there and offload their grandmother and her wheelchair, Hayes advised a different approach. She suggested that the Reddit user should have politely communicated with the other driver about their needs.Hayes concluded by emphasizing the importance of respectful communication over passive-aggressive actions.”Passive aggressive approaches are never the best solution,” she said. “Nor are quick, judgmental assumptions, that often prove false.” She reiterated the timeless principle: “We do well to always remember the golden rule鈥攄o unto others as you would have them do unto you.”Newsweek reached out to u/owlindenial for comment via Reddit.