But around the time she signed the documents, she and her parents were just beginning to talk again. Over time, her mother began to acknowledge her daughter’s partnership as a legitimate relationship, and after Biscardi had children, their dynamic really began to change for the better.
“I think for her it was just a full-circle moment where she’s like, ‘You’re right. I don’t know what the real issue is here,’” Biscardi told MarketWatch. “Because she’s not someone who goes to church regularly. She was following a value system she didn’t actually personally believe in. I think it was just reactionary.”
After going through a divorce in 2021, 15 years after the initial disinheritance, Biscardi modified her trust to list her mother and brother as equally in charge of her death benefits and financial assets. Today, they’ve rebuilt their relationship to a point where Biscardi’s mom even works for her.
LGBTQ+ people often use wills and trusts to ensure a partner or “chosen family” member inherits their assets, rather than next of kin who might not support their identity. But since President Donald Trump returned to the White House, attorneys say they’ve seen an increase in people within the LGBTQ+ community seeking out these estate-planning services. Some same-sex couples fear that their right to marry, which gave them the same legal standing and protections traditionally afforded to heterosexual couples, is increasingly vulnerable.
Among LGBTQ+ adults in the U.S., 71% say they expect the second Trump administration to have a negative impact on people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, according to a Pew Research Center report from February.
“It’s not necessarily different today under this Trump administration, except it feels different,” said Jennifer Hatch, president and senior financial adviser at New York-based Christopher Street Financial, a financial-planning and investment-services firm focused on the LGBTQ+ community.
“I think that there’s a greater sense of dread and threat, even though there’s no sword that has fallen,” Hatch continued. “It doesn’t mean that it won’t.”
‘Marriage gives you privilege. Estate planning gives you power.’
Before a 2015 Supreme Court decision legalized same-sex marriage, Biscardi’s attorney, Angela Giampolo, helped many of the clients at her LGBTQ-focused Philadelphia law firm set up a revocable living trust, a legal document that lets people avoid the probate process by designating a successor trustee to determine where their assets go if they become disabled or die. A living trust also offers more privacy than a will, which becomes part of the public record after a person’s death.
“Whether you’re 24 renting a 300-square-foot apartment or 65, successful and have three properties in multiple cities, everybody in the LGBTQ community needs a revocable living trust,” Giampolo said. “That is what we have been using to recreate a marriage for the last 70 years. It has been our marriage-equality protection tool.”
From the archives (November 2015): 1 in 10 weddings were same-sex couples in summer of 2015
But once marriage equality became the law of the land a decade ago, Giampolo said, she saw estate planning within the LGBTQ+ community plummet. People thought they didn’t need it anymore because of the spousal inheritance and tax benefits that come from marriage, she said. But marriage only gets you so far — especially if there is a disagreement over specific wishes that the default legal assumptions don’t cover. Intentional estate planning lets you select beneficiaries and establish a power of attorney for healthcare.
“Ten years ago when the LGBTQ community got marriage equality … I feel as though they breathed in legitimacy and they mistook it for power,” Giampolo said. “Marriage gives you privilege. Estate planning gives you power.”
After the 2024 presidential election, Giampolo’s schedule filled up with clients looking to set up revocable living trusts again. Since Trump’s January inauguration, the president has signed executive orders restricting gender-affirming care and has targeted diversity, equity and inclusion programs across the federal government.
Though experts say it’s unlikely the Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges, which established constitutional protection of same-sex marriage, will be overturned, many LGBTQ+ people are still worried.
After Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court in 2022, removing the constitutional right to abortion, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote in his concurrence that Obergefell stood on similar shaky ground and that the court has a duty to “correct the error.” And under Trump’s second administration, Republicans have been emboldened to target LGBTQ+ rights, with lawmakers in at least nine states making attempts to undercut marriage equality.
From the archives (June 2024): ‘Our current government won’t last forever’: These red-state LGBTQ+ families are making financial plans in case they need to flee to a blue state
“I don’t know an LGBTQ person that isn’t nervous,” said Mary Clements Evans, a certified financial planner who founded Evans Wealth Strategies in Emmaus, Pa.
What to do if you’re disinherited because of your identity
The option to disinherit a beneficiary in a will can be particularly painful for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, as it opens the door for disinheritance rooted in disagreements over their identity.
“The law is pretty liberal when it comes to allowing people to leave money to whoever they want, or not leave money to whoever they want, for whatever reason,” said Dave Haughton, senior corporate counsel at the estate-management company Wealth.com.
While there is limited data on the LGBTQ+ community’s use of estate planning, nearly three-fourths of LGBTQ+ people said in a 2023 survey that before they told their family about their sexual orientation, they could rely on them for financial support. After coming out, that share dropped 11 percentage points to 62%, according to the report from the Center for LGBTQ Economic Advancement & Research and the Movement Advancement Project.
For LGBTQ+ people who have been written out of family money, there is the option to dispute a will. Talking to an attorney about your situation can help determine if you have legal grounds to do so, said Craig Parker, assistant general counsel at the estate-planning company Trust & Will.
See more: My cousin died before claiming his late father’s $2 million estate. Will I be next in line?
“Was your parent unduly influenced in some way to disinherit you?” said Parker, who practiced law in Southern California for 25 years. “Maybe they were influenced by even their spouse or influenced by other family members.”
Evans has seen people at her Pennsylvania practice use money to manipulate their children: If someone acts the way the parent wants — for example, if they pursue a heterosexual relationship to please their family, despite being gay — they get the money. But if they choose to embrace their sexuality, that inheritance is snatched back.
This can create lasting emotional harm for the person who is disinherited and alter their relationship with money.
“They don’t want to talk about money, they don’t want to think about money, they don’t want to plan for it, because it brings up these tremendous, uncomfortable feelings,” said Evans, who is an accredited behavioral finance professional. “They just shut down, and it creates shame.”
Biscardi, whose estrangement from her mother was related to her identity, recommends therapy for anyone going through something similar.
“When you’re estranged from your family because of who you are, I think there’s a piece of that where the mother that you think you wanted or the one that you think that you deserve, you have to have a funeral for an idea of that person,” she said. “Seek counsel, whether it be through friends if you can’t afford it right now, or somebody who’s a licensed counselor.”
Despite the negative emotions involved, it is possible to move forward from disinheritance. Christopher Street Financial recommends focusing on building up your own safety net by prioritizing savings, including an emergency fund and retirement savings. Those who are disinherited by blood relatives can decide to include chosen family in their own estate-planning documents, but it’s important to discuss your intentions with those beneficiaries.
Disinheritance can be devastating, but some families do reconcile, as Biscardi and her mother did. And if a parent is estranged, a sibling, extended family member or chosen family member may step up to provide love and support in their place.
Hatch at Christopher Street Financial said she once had a client who was written out of his father’s will, presumably because he was gay, but his three siblings still received their inheritances after their father’s death. After the funeral, when everyone was driving home, one of the siblings called up the others and asked to meet again. When they got together, the sibling said they didn’t feel comfortable with what happened with the will and didn’t think that their mother, who had died 20 years previously, would want the brother to be excluded.
The siblings each ended up giving up a portion of their inheritance to the brother — a selfless move Hatch said she doesn’t see often.
Other LGBTQ-focused estate-planning tips
MarketWatch spoke with attorneys, financial advisers and estate-planning fintech companies for this story. Here are some of their tips regarding estate planning for LGBTQ+ individuals and families.
Know who’s legally allowed to be with you in case of emergency
To ensure your partner is allowed to make decisions for you in case of a medical emergency, you must be married to them or have a healthcare directive that lists your partner as the person who can speak to the doctor on your behalf. A healthcare directive is a legal document that outlines your wishes for medical treatment if you become unable to make your own decisions.
Without these protections, a family member could legally step in and bar your partner from visiting or from having a say in decisions related to your health.
“Otherwise you leave it to maybe your parents or siblings that come in and really push to be the people in charge,” said Parker from Trust & Will. “You having legal documents in place, it solves that problem, and I think it could be critical.”
Transgender people need extra protection for gender-affirming care
Transgender people should also consider healthcare directives, even if they’re not in a relationship. The next of kin available in an emergency medical situation could be someone who doesn’t support their identity, and in extreme cases, this could lead to attempts to reverse or halt gender-affirming care.
Consider getting married
Just 8% of LGBTQ+ adults in the U.S. are married to a same-sex partner, according to a June report from Gallup.
This number should be higher, according to Evans, who urges her LGBTQ+ financial-planning clients who are in long-term relationships to get married because of the lower income-tax rate when filing jointly, the spousal benefits from Social Security and the opportunity to receive health insurance through a spouse’s employer.
From the archives (January 2024): This Social Security rule is dead — but spouses still have options
“I think one of the biggest damaging financial things that happens to same-sex couples is they do not realize all the financial benefits that happen when you get married,” Evans said.
Prepare documents for travel to certain countries
Gay marriage is only legal in 38 countries, according to the Human Rights Campaign, and same-sex spouses traveling to one of the 157 countries where it’s not legal should stay vigilant. Having important estate-planning documents on hand can help provide proof of a relationship, which could be crucial in an emergency situation.
Giampolo represents a same-sex couple at her Philadelphia law firm who travel to Turks and Caicos, where gay marriage is not legal. She provides them with laminated documents to keep with their passports when they travel, just in case.
“Your average straight person doesn’t realize how estate planning and how these documents protect and help LGBTQ folks,” Giampolo said.
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