By Mary Hahn-Thomsen
Through the eyes of the narcissistic personality, they are the central body, while others are mere appendages whose words and deeds fall in an orbit around them. Greek mythology tells us that Narcissus was the exceptional hunter and beauty cursed by the gods to continuously fall in love with his own reflection whenever he stared into a pond of water. A lesser-known part of the story is that the reason Narcissus was cursed was because he rejected any suitor who showed an interest.
Acceptance and rejection are the over-arching themes for the narcissistic personality. On the one hand, the narcissist craves acceptance and will go to great lengths to morph their interests and behaviour to fit in. On the other hand, their reaction to perceived rejection can be excessive and brutal.
In Patterson’s case, she became a Christian to be accepted by the Patterson family. In her mind, she was loved and belonged, but her fragile self-worth made her doubt her position – a situation necessitating ongoing vigilance and maintenance. For those around her, especially family and friends, her attempts to fit in would have come across as alternatingly pleasant, awkward, and irritating. Irritating because the underlying fakeness would be palpable.
While the narcissist might genuinely believe in who they have become, they have not really become anything. They have simply undergone a temporary transformation born out of a desperate need to be accepted. Since their sense of self is so fragile, so too is the transformation.