By Contributor Julia Korn
Business person walking out of office holding box of stuff
In April alone, 3.2 million Americans quit their jobs. That鈥檚 not a fluke; it鈥檚 the norm. Career-long loyalty to one company is increasingly rare, especially among high performers who thrive on growth and challenge. So when your star employee gives notice, it should not feel like a crisis. It should be your cue to lead with clarity, confidence, and class. Handled well, these moments can strengthen your leadership, reinforce team trust, and grow your long-term talent pipeline. Boomerang employees鈥攊ndividuals who leave a company and later return鈥攎ade up 35% of new hires in March, a clear sign that your response today can shape who returns tomorrow. Here鈥檚 a four-step playbook for navigating a star departure with professionalism and poise, and turning a potential setback into a leadership win.
Lead with grace, not desperation
When a top performer tells you they鈥檙e leaving the team, your response does not just set the tone; it shapes how they鈥檒l remember you. Begin with congratulations and genuine well-wishes.
Then, listen. Fully. Make eye contact, silence your phone, and close your laptop if you can. This is a decision they鈥檝e likely been weighing for weeks or months, and it comes with mixed emotions. Do not rush to react, problem-solve, or persuade. Assume the decision is final and take the high road.
Skip the guilt trips. Reactions like 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 see this coming,鈥 or 鈥淵ou should鈥檝e told me sooner,鈥 may feel honest in the moment, but they serve your ego, not the relationship. This isn鈥檛 about you. Focus on respect, not regret. How you handle their exit may determine whether they return, or refer others who will.
Know when鈥攁nd how鈥攖o make a counteroffer
Your first instinct should not be to change their mind. But if you truly believe it鈥檚 worth exploring鈥攁nd the relationship warrants it鈥攌eep the ask simple and sincere:
MORE FOR YOU
鈥淵ou鈥檙e a huge asset to this team. Would you be open to a conversation about what it might take to keep you here?鈥
If they say yes, proceed with caution. Don鈥檛 promise more than you can deliver. A rushed raise or title change鈥攅specially one made in haste or without proper authority鈥攃an quickly erode trust and backfire.
That said, counteroffers should not be your default. Often, the best leadership move is letting them go with grace. A line like 鈥淭his is tough news for us, but a great opportunity for your career. I鈥檓 genuinely excited for what鈥檚 next鈥 can carry more long-term impact than any negotiation tactic. Support builds bridges, while desperation burns them.
Don鈥檛 rush the logistics
The initial conversation isn鈥檛 the time to dive into handoffs or timelines. You are likely processing this news in real time, and that鈥檚 okay. Give yourself space to think clearly before shifting into planning mode.
Start by thanking them for their contributions, and let them know you will follow up with them soon. When you do, approach exit logistics as a two-way conversation. Share what you and your team need, but also ask:
鈥淲hat do you need to close things out well for the rest of the team?鈥
鈥淗ow can I help make this easier for you?鈥
They鈥檙e leaving the role, not the relationship. A thoughtful, collaborative approach makes for a smoother transition and a lasting impression of your leadership.
Ask for feedback鈥 and mean it
As their final day approaches, make space for reflection. Ask: 鈥淚s there any feedback you would be open to sharing, about me, the team, or the company, especially anything that might have encouraged you to stay with us?鈥
Here鈥檚 the key: you must be prepared to hear the answer and take their feedback seriously. Forty-two percent of employees who voluntarily left their roles in 2024 said their employer could have taken steps to retain them. Do not let those insights go untapped.
If they鈥檙e not comfortable sharing feedback directly, be sure to schedule an exit interview with HR. Either way, treat their input as a gift, not a grievance.
One final note on emotion: stay steady.
Do not cry, lash out, or let your reaction take over the room, even if the news catches you off guard. Center yourself with something simple: inhale for four counts, exhale for five. How you manage your emotions will set the tone for everyone else.
Turnover is a reality of modern leadership. But when your star employee walks out the door, how you respond can define your reputation, your team culture, and your long-term influence. Lead with poise, not panic, because at the end of the day, it鈥檚 the relationship that lasts.
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