BRITAIN is alive with happy families surreptitiously releasing beavers into the wild for kicks. Why have you joined the latest craze?
Lucy Parry, activist: 鈥淩estoring the balance of nature, which is to say if privatised water companies can鈥檛 build any bloody reservoirs we鈥檒l have to coax beavers to do it.鈥
Norman Steele, pipe-layer: 鈥淚鈥檝e always enjoyed those Beavers Gone Wild! films so I thought I鈥檇 recreate them here in Leicestershire. Oh God it鈥檚 girls, isn鈥檛 it, not beavers.鈥
Susan Traherne, travel agent: 鈥淔rankly I鈥檝e got too many beavers round the f**king house already.鈥
Steve Malley, shopfitter: 鈥淚s it true what they say about their sweet vanilla-scented anal glands? Only I鈥檓 already out in the woods at night getting high licking toads and I don鈥檛 mind diversifying.鈥
Julian Cook, solicitor: 鈥淗ate trees.鈥