By Andrea Lambrou
A Scots transgender ambulance driver has told how a bucket list climb up Ben Nevis will be symbolic after conquering her own personal mountain to live happily as a woman. Michelle Williams, 63, has pledged to scale Scotland鈥檚 highest mountain on September 13 to help fund research for Macmillan Cancer Support. The gruelling charity trek will signify a remarkable milestone in the Scottish Ambulance worker鈥檚 life after conquering 60 years of gender dysphoria to successfully transition from a man into a woman. Living for six decades as John, struggles with gender, identity and depression nearly proved fatal following two suicide attempts. But after opening up about his mental health battle and speaking to a psychiatrist during the Covid lockdown, John was diagnosed with gender dysphoria which gave him the courage to take the first step in his journey towards transitioning. 鈥淲hen I was 60 I did the West Highland Way and my bucket list was to do Ben Nevis鈥, said Michelle. 鈥淚 climbed my own personal mountain by getting a sex change and living my life full-time as Michelle, now I would like to climb Ben Nevis to raise money for this amazing charity.鈥 Michelle, from East Kilbride, has been a blue light driver for the Scottish Ambulance Service (SAS) for 17 years. But before the Covid pandemic, Michelle was known to her colleagues by her birth name, John. 鈥淚鈥檝e done this quite late in life鈥, she explained. 鈥淩ound about 2020, I decided to be Michelle full-time. I鈥檇 been in the ambulance service 12 years and everybody knew me as John. The thought of going back to work full-time as Michelle was quite frightening. 鈥淚 thought people would either be for it or totally against it, but it was more in between – as in people didn鈥檛 really care, which was even better. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 want preferential treatment and you don鈥檛 want abuse. 鈥淚 obviously get looks every day because I鈥檓 going into hospitals, but nothing more than that.鈥 Told it would take years to go through the NHS before being able to make the transition to Michelle, John decided to go private and spent 拢10,000 to fly to Thailand for gender reassignment surgery in November, 2022. And Michelle is now living her best life with the backing of her colleagues at Coatbridge Ambulance Station. She added: 鈥淔ive years on I鈥檓 still on the waiting list for the Sandyford Clinic and was told it could take another couple of years, so I鈥檇 still have been John at 65 if I waited on the NHS. 鈥淚 decided to pay for my own sex change – it鈥檚 been a challenging journey. 鈥淢ore or less when I started primary school and started mixing with boys and girls, I knew something was not right. 鈥淭his was 1967, there was no such thing as social media and no such thing as transgenders. 鈥淚 just thought something was wrong with me and that carried on through my teenage years into adulthood.鈥 Feeling he needed to 鈥渕an up鈥 a bit more, after leaving school John joined the RAF and bulked up through weight training – even getting tattoos to appear more masculine. He married his late wife and had four children before she passed away, aged 44, in 2011. 鈥淚 then had one of those lightbulb moments when I attended an event and heard about transgender people and realised 鈥榯hat must be me鈥欌, said Michelle. From that moment on John would go out socialising in Glasgow on weekends as Michelle, but booked overnight stays in hotels to avoid the 鈥渇rightening鈥 prospect of travelling on public transport dressed as a woman. Michelle said: 鈥淚 went to a pub that was very accepting of this type of thing and went back and stayed the night in a hotel and returned home as John. 鈥淏ut I had the high of going out as myself, as Michelle, and afterwards you come crashing down to earth. When you鈥檙e doing that time and time again, it plays with your mind and I had depression. 鈥淚 knew I couldn鈥檛 go on like this because one of these days I might be successful and actually kill myself. 鈥淲hen the feelings got stronger and stronger, I realised I didn鈥檛 want to keep changing and go back to work on Monday as John. 鈥淪o in 2020 during the pandemic that鈥檚 when I thought, 鈥榶ou only get one life鈥, and I just decided that鈥檚 it, I鈥檓 going to do it. 鈥淚 saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with gender dysphoria then spoke to my bosses – who were fine – and took six months off after the operation in Thailand and went back – and, overall, I鈥檝e had a positive reaction.鈥 Michelle is now determined to use her story to inspire others while raising awareness and funds for cancer research after being touched by many families affected by the disease through her work. Ahead of the Ben Nevis climb in September, an 80s and 90s-themed fundraiser will be held at Greenhills Bar in East Kilbride on Sunday, August 24, to help boost funds with all ticket sales going directly to the charity. She added: 鈥淚t鈥檚 taken me 60 years to live the life I want to live. I hope by sharing my story I can inspire other people like me to be happy.鈥 Make a donation to the fundraiser here.