When results of the Primary Exit Profile (PEP) examinations were released last Friday, there were a range of emotions, including screams of joy from some students and quiet sobs from others.
Some students jumped with excitement, while others sat in stunned silence, grappling with the painful reality that they did not pass for their first-choice high school. Regional Clinical Psychologist at the Western Regional Health Authority, Dr Alcon Barnett, is urging parents to show compassion and support for children who did not pass for their preferred high schools.
“There has been a history for the past few years of a lot of parents being disgruntled [and] children who have been extremely affected psychologically. Some have been affected by depression and anxiety, and [struggled with] their self-worth,” he told JIS News. Barnett said that parents must begin by “changing their mindset” and shift the focus from disappointment to building resilience.
“They need to focus really on what the advantages of the child passing are, and what are some of the things that they can do to strengthen the child’s resolve wherever they are,” he said. He added that parents should “destigmatise the school itself”, validate their child’s emotions, and “show compassion, try to listen to the child [and] comprehend how the child is experiencing the disappointment”.
Parents are also encouraged to avoid blaming the child or comparing them with other students.
“That is a major issue. Parents sit down and they discuss things. Whatever school the child is selected for or placed [in], the parent should become an active member in that school… constantly [communicate] with the teachers, [be] a discipline, and support [and] self-monitor the child,” Barnett emphasised. He warned that lashing out at a child for not getting into a ‘top’ school can have long-lasting effects.
“That can be extremely damaging psychologically … when the parent even consciously or subconsciously isolates from the child … that is a form of abandonment in a sense, a form of emotional neglect,” he added. Stressing that “every school has produced great people”, Barnett emphasised the importance of parenting over prestige. He suggested that parents should see this moment as “an opportunity to support your child … to allow them to understand the importance and power of study skills. Set schedules. Start being consistent. Reduce digital time [and] have a behaviour-modification system”.