By Ngozi Uma
Tobi shared his story about what he did for love. He was expelled from school for helping his girlfriend write her exam. He was caught pretending to be her during the test. After that, the school sent him away. To make things worse, the same girl left him and later had a relationship with the lecturer who caught them. Now, Tobi is heartbroken and staying at home, while the girl is still in school and getting ready to graduate. Since then, he has been scared to enter another relationship.
“She was my first love. I had never loved or been in a relationship with a girl before I met her. We were in different departments but because of her I made friends with guys in her department so that I could see her every day. She was very pretty and of the same age. It took a long time before she noticed me. I was very shy to talk to her at first but one day I summoned courage to approach her. Luckily, she didn’t snub me and we became friends. She was easy to relate with.
“We started dating officially in 200 level. I liked her much and never wanted any harm to come to her. She was not that academically sound, she had 4 carry-over in her first year. Aside from that she is smart and very industrious.
“She sells ladies’ clothes in school, and made a lot of sales. I think it was the business that made her not to concentrate in school. Most of her assignments I helped her to do were probably why she accepted to date me. Even though we are dating, she never allowed me to sleep with her, we only kissed on a few occasions and it was okay by me. I was hoping that one day she would give it to me of her free will.
“It was exam period and she needed to retake one of the courses she carried over. She was scared she would fail again. If she failed it she would be sent away from school. She told me to help her to write the exam. I was scared but I didn’t want her to leave the school, life without her in school would be boring. I agreed to help her.
“On that day in the hall, I ran out of luck. I was caught and after investigation they said I impersonated someone. I was expecting her to at least tell the school council that she asked me to help her. She didn’t defend me. That was how I was expelled from school. Months later I learnt that the girl was sleeping with that same lecturer that caught me in the exam hall helping her. And she was given a chance to rewrite the exam and she passed. Today she is in 400 level and I have not been able to gain admission into another school.
“As I write I am so embittered. That incident made me scared of girls. I have not had the courage to approach another girl. I see them as evil species. The girl in question was not even remorseful, or even called to sympathize with me.”
Dear Tobi, You took a big risk and, honestly, your story sounds like it was a setup. But it’s one of those tough life lessons. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try to pick yourself up and work on becoming a better person. If getting into another school is hard, consider learning a skill—just do something that adds value to your life. One day, when she hears about you again, let it be a completely new and inspiring story. And about being scared of girls—don’t lose hope. There are still good, kind-hearted girls out there. I hope you find someone who truly loves and values you someday.
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