鈥楶ROBLEMS of success鈥 may sound like an oxymoron, but individuals and societies must define success and understand its implications.
Two seemingly unrelated events going viral on social media offer an opportunity to think through why and where are, ie, in limbo. Let鈥檚 first look at the latest issue. A well-known actor of years past recently passed away in her home in Karachi. She was alone. The media said she died days before her remains were discovered after her neighbours got concerned. The type of social media frenzy expressing disgust at the perceived social decay, moral degradation and weakening of familial ties, with a mix of socio-religious commentary thrown in, makes you wonder if we have lost all faculties to empathise without judgement. And must we always express ourselves publicly in a knee-jerk manner?
The deceased actor鈥檚 next of kin are being berated for their callous behaviour towards their mother; their assets and lifestyles are being highlighted as if these had a causal effect on their reportedly irresponsible behaviour towards their ailing and lonely mother.
Without knowing anything other than the fact that the TV star passed away, let us assume, for argument鈥檚 sake, that she had offspring who lived in different cities or even countries. How is that condemnable? Regardless of the illiteracy rate, we must have heard about the nuclear family. For the bomb-crazy brigade, it has nothing to do with the club of nuclear-armed countries and refers to the phenomenon of a family unit consisting of husband, wife and children.
Ask most people going into marriage, and they would prefer to have a household of their own; ie, only them and their partner, raising a family, if they choose to have one, independently. No in-laws, no members of the extended family sharing the living space 鈥 nothing wrong with it. Ask people who choose to be single, and whether they elect to live independently 鈥 nothing wrong with it. Ask parents what they want for their children growing up; success is usually a top priority.
Have we lost all faculties to empathise without judgement?
Mobility is a natural companion for earning a livelihood, and parents are generally alright with their children moving around in search of a better future. Nothing wrong with it. Ask parents if they would move with their children, hopping between assignments, unemployment, divorces, etc, and most would say 鈥榯hanks, but no thanks鈥 and rattle off a list of reasons why they would not barter away their independence even for the love of their children and grandchildren. Nothing wrong with that either.
Our economy, besides being in the dumps, has been in transition. The problems of success are more pronounced for societies in transition, as the limbo can seem to last forever. The state is shedding responsibility for the market to fill the service-support gap. The market has not found the sweet spot where the state sets policy, gets sufficiently out of the way, and lets it do its bit while making a profit. The state feels the market is failing to rise to the occasion by not investing in sectors it is ceding. The market complains of constant changes in policy and undue intervention in the name of regulation. As a result, seniors鈥 communities that the private sector may have built to cater to the relatively well-off for independent yet secure living did not come up. The old-age homes that the public sector runs in the developed world, to care for senior citizens who cannot afford a private service, never took root here for want of social safety nets, and the few that exist, thanks to private philanthropy, struggle to cope with the demand.
As for the second, a recent social me–dia scandal. Rece-n-tly, in a TV show, an anchor asked a gu–est to imagine alternative careers for other participants of the show. The guest, pointing to a seasoned journalist, said he would be cleaning toilets in some foreign restaurant. The gent just smiled. His opponents went to town celebrating what they believe to be his comeuppance; in the process, degrading and dehumanising those in the sanitary profession. His supporters were outraged at this audacity of likening their hero to a sanitary worker.
In this din, not a single voice is heard asking when cleaning toilets became a shameful act. What about corruption, begging at home and abroad, and piling up weapons when citizens don鈥檛 have drinking water, health, education, the right to life, and liberty? Asked what she would do after she was no longer the mother general, 鈥淚 am first class at cleaning toilets and drains,鈥 answered Mother Teresa. M.K. Gandhi also cleaned community toilets. Unless we agree that cleaning toilets is honourable and it is the breach of contracts, social or divine, that is despicable, limbo will only end in hell.
The writer is a poet. His latest publication is a collection of satire essays titled Rindana.
shahzadsharjeel1@gmail.com
Published in Dawn, June 28th, 2025