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Entertainment
(Some Guy)
Imagine waking up one morning to find out that China quietly rendered all crypto investments worthless overnight (news.bitcoin.com)
More: Cool, Google’s Quantum Breakthrough, Bitcoin, Public-key cryptography, Computer network, QR code, Ransomware, Tor (anonymity network), Peer-to-peer
610 clicks;posted toMain »on 26 Jun 2025 at7:35 AM(27 minutes ago) | Favorite | Watch | share: Copy Link
23 Comments
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View Voting Results:SmartestandFunniest
(5) Funniest
9 hours ago
Break faster!
FormlessOne
(8) Funniest
9 hours ago
Just in time for Trump to attempt to base the American real estate mortgage market on crypto, so he can speculate on land with his friggin’ crapcoin…
Flush. Gurgle.
fragMasterFlash
(3) Funniest
9 hours ago
Bitcoin transactions are already tediously slow. Slapping on a post-quantum signature would mean a transaction that now takes 30 to 90 minutes to complete would become too slow to be practical for most real world scenarios.
Three Crooked Squirrels
(3) Funniest
8 hours ago
I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
Again, I don’t know anything about any of this, so feel free to mock me.
(20) Funniest
8 hours ago
Well, I have no crypto investments and no respect for those who do, so I’d giggle like a schoolgirl
(9) Funniest
7 hours ago
Three Crooked Squirrels: I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
Again, I don’t know anything about any of this, so feel free to mock me.
(1) A quantum computer is not just a really fast general computer. it is a task-specific computer that leverages quantum uncertainty to improve very specific situations
(2) Cryptocurrency is not the entirety of cryptography. Most cryptography is the stuff that makes your online communications secure
(3) Cryptography does this by doing certain math in some special ways that creates a situation where the only way to guess the right way to read your stuff is by literally guessing every possibility. Make the number of guesses large enough, and to have an even 50% chance of guessing it takes longer than there will be coherent matter in the universe. That is where we are right now – I have a better chance of social engineering your password than actually breaking it
(4) Based on one form of cryptography, you can use a specific algorithm and a quantum computer to discard entire swaths of bad guesses, dropping that time-frame significantly. To be fair, that form of cryptography is rather prevalent
(5) That doesn’t mean “instantly”. So, “longer than there will be coherent matter” drops down to “when the last star in the Milky Way blinks out”, which is quicker, but still unreasonable
(6) That being said, there are real world situations where it can drop “about when the Sun dies” to “twenty to thirty years”. And there are still some systems built on “about when the Sun dies”
(7) The easy solution is just to raise the length of the key; not your password per se, but the thing your password references to the computer. Make it longer, and we’re back to “about when the Sun dies”
(8) The better solution is to use a form of cryptography that is less vulnerable to the sort of time-whittling that quantum computers excel at. Like I said, quantum computing requires specific algorithms to leverage its advantages, and if your cryptography is not as reliant on those algorithms, quantum computers become less worrisome
(9) We’ve already started not only building those less-reliant types of cryptography, but have been implementing them for years. They have the added benefit of being less computationally onerous than the old cryptography, so that even if some new quantum computing algorithm appeared to touch them, making their keys large enough to thwart the quantum computers still means they are smaller than current keys
There is also a whole lot of IF coming off that article. Google may have found a way to make the quantum computer more efficient. But their new target is still way off what the very best current quantum computers can achieve. In other words, they are saying their body spray may not be able to let you pull Scarlett Johansson, but it will definitely let you pull Minnie Driver; meanwhile you are lucky to pull Minnie Pearl if she’s feeling generous – so your chances of scoring are still somewhere between fark-all and bupkis. The article then admits that the system this would affect isn’t the one most cryptocurrency uses – which is an offshoot of the thing I mentioned in (8). But it then blithely declares this means nothing, because it will fall too, in time, probably, maybe. Quantum computing is a deodorant, a floor wax, an ice cream topping, and a contraceptive all in one!
Quantum computing’s major problem with delivering on its hype is that the process of building anything not a novelty toy has been so glacially slow that everyone has looked at the problems created if it works and already spent decades devising workarounds. And we’ve already quietly mainstreamed a solution to the most obvious quantum computing attack. For instance, Fark’s connection security is currently running (8) – if a quantum computer is built tomorrow as powerful as the articles discusses, it would still take thousands of years to break into your Fark account. Your bank account would be “the Sun dies out”
(1) Funniest
2 hours ago
The initial uses for this are to attack the systems that keep wallets secure. There have been plenty of problems with random number generators over the years and any wallet that used one of those broken system is a target. Break a huge early wallet and things get very interesting.
OdradekRex
(1) Funniest
2 hours ago
TomTudbury
(4) Funniest
Marcus Aurelius
(12) Funniest
52 minutes ago
Two observations:
1. Holding currency is not an investment; it is a speculation.
2. Crypto is already worthless. It creates no value, and is based on false scarcity. Anybody can start a shiatcoin, and they do with nauseating regularity.
kmgenesis23
(1) Funniest
less than a minute ago
I would point and laugh?
Rapmaster2000
(2) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Won’t matter. People aren’t buying crypto for a fundamental technical or financial reason. It’s a lottery ticket.
Sorelian’s Ghost
(1) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Crypto, the vegan crossfitter of finance.
btch_cakes
(2) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Headline: “Google’s Quantum Breakthrough Quietly Inches Closer to Breaking Bitcoin”
Article: “Although the development doesn’t put Bitcoin at risk…”
SirDigbyChickenCaesar
(1) Funniest
less than a minute ago
DON.MAC: The initial uses for this are to attack the systems that keep wallets secure. There have been plenty of problems with random number generators over the years and any wallet that used one of those broken system is a target. Break a huge early wallet and things get very interesting.
I have no idea about any of this but if you had a bunch of crypto why would you keep it on a device connected to the internet? Can’t you air gap your wallet?
TomTudbury
(2) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Sorelian’s Ghost: Crypto, the vegan crossfitter of finance.
Except this is the one who stands at the urinal next to you, and pisses on your shoes while bragging.
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Chariset: Well, I have no crypto investments and no respect for those who do, so I’d giggle like a schoolgirl
Reading that as i wake up be like:
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
btch_cakes:
Headline: “Google’s Quantum Breakthrough Quietly Inches Closer to Breaking Bitcoin”
Article: “Although the development doesn’t put Bitcoin at risk…”
Well, then obviously no future development could ever crack crypto, and this silly subject is closed once and for all.
I SAID ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!
(1) Funniest
less than a minute ago
phalamir: Three Crooked Squirrels: I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
Again, I don’t know anything about any of this, so feel free to mock me.
(1) A quantum computer is not just a really fast general computer. it is a task-specific computer that leverages quantum uncertainty to improve very specific situations
(2) Cryptocurrency is not the entirety of cryptography. Most cryptography is the stuff that makes your online communications secure
(3) Cryptography does this by doing certain math in some special ways that creates a situation where the only way to guess the right way to read your stuff is by literally guessing every possibility. Make the number of guesses large enough, and to have an even 50% chance of guessing it takes longer than there will be coherent matter in the universe. That is where we are right now – I have a better chance of social engineering your password than actually breaking it
(4) Based on one form of cryptography, you can use a specific algorithm and a quantum computer to discard entire swaths of bad guesses, dropping that time-frame significantly. To be fair, that form of cryptography is rather prevalent
(5) That doesn’t mean “instantly”. So, “longer than there will be coherent matter” drops down to “when the last star in the Milky Way blinks out”, which is quicker, but still unreasonable
(6) That being said, there are real world situations where it can drop “about when the Sun dies” to “twenty to thirty years”. And there are still some systems built on “about when the Sun dies”
(7) The easy solution is just to raise the length of the key; not your password per se, but the thing your password references to the computer. Make it longer, and we’re back to “about when the Sun dies”
(8) The better solution is to u …
That was a nice short TED Talk, right to the point. Thanks for breaking it down for us who are not versed in crypto and don’t want to be.
BafflerMeal
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
phalamir: Three Crooked Squirrels: I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
Again, I don’t know anything about any of this, so feel free to mock me.
(1) A quantum computer is not just a really fast general computer. it is a task-specific computer that leverages quantum uncertainty to improve very specific situations
(2) Cryptocurrency is not the entirety of cryptography. Most cryptography is the stuff that makes your online communications secure
(3) Cryptography does this by doing certain math in some special ways that creates a situation where the only way to guess the right way to read your stuff is by literally guessing every possibility. Make the number of guesses large enough, and to have an even 50% chance of guessing it takes longer than there will be coherent matter in the universe. That is where we are right now – I have a better chance of social engineering your password than actually breaking it
(4) Based on one form of cryptography, you can use a specific algorithm and a quantum computer to discard entire swaths of bad guesses, dropping that time-frame significantly. To be fair, that form of cryptography is rather prevalent
(5) That doesn’t mean “instantly”. So, “longer than there will be coherent matter” drops down to “when the last star in the Milky Way blinks out”, which is quicker, but still unreasonable
(6) That being said, there are real world situations where it can drop “about when the Sun dies” to “twenty to thirty years”. And there are still some systems built on “about when the Sun dies”
(7) The easy solution is just to raise the length of the key; not your password per se, but the thing your password references to the computer. Make it longer, and we’re back to “about when the Sun dies”
(8) The better solution is to use a form of cryptography that is less vulnerable to the sort of time-whittling that quantum computers excel at. Like I said, quantum computing requires specific algorithms to leverage its advantages, and if your cryptography is not as reliant on those algorithms, quantum computers become less worrisome
(9) We’ve already started not only building those less-reliant types of cryptography, but have been implementing them for years. They have the added benefit of being less computationally onerous than the old cryptography, so that even if some new quantum computing algorithm appeared to touch them, making their keys large enough to thwart the quantum computers still means they are smaller than current keys
There is also a whole lot of IF coming off that article. Google may have found a way to make the quantum computer more efficient. But their new target is still way off what the very best current quantum computers can achieve. In other words, they are saying their body spray may not be able to let you pull Scarlett Johansson, but it will definitely let you pull Minnie Driver; meanwhile you are lucky to pull Minnie Pearl if she’s feeling generous – so your chances of scoring are still somewhere between fark-all and bupkis. The article then admits that the system this would affect isn’t the one most cryptocurrency uses – which is an offshoot of the thing I mentioned in (8). But it then blithely declares this means nothing, because it will fall too, in time, probably, maybe. Quantum computing is a deodorant, a floor wax, an ice cream topping, and a contraceptive all in one!
Quantum computing’s major problem with delivering on its hype is that the process of building anything not a novelty toy has been so glacially slow that everyone has looked at the problems created if it works and already spent decades devising workarounds. And we’ve already quietly mainstreamed a solution to the most obvious quantum computing attack. For instance, Fark’s connection security is currently running (8) – if a quantum computer is built tomorrow as powerful as the articles discusses, it would still take thousands of years to break into your Fark account. Your bank account would be “the Sun dies out”
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
(1) A quantum computer is not just a really fast general computer. it is a task-specific computer that leverages quantum uncertainty to improve very specific situations …
Thank you very much. That was very helpful.
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Three Crooked Squirrels: I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
That’s TFA in a nutshell. We are getting closer to using quantum to break encryption algorithms like RSA, which your entire digital life depends on. But we’re paid by the number of articles about Bitcoin, so let’s put that in the title instead.
NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!
(0) Funniest
less than a minute ago
Three Crooked Squirrels: I’m no computer-talking guy. I don’t know anything about any of this. But if they build some crypto-cracking system that can take down crypto, is it really just crypto? Won’t it be able to take down the entire financial system, which is basically all electronic?
Again, I don’t know anything about any of this, so feel free to mock me.
This is why you should keep your first million in a mayonnaise jar buried in your back yard.
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