By Georgie Culley
WHEN I think back to the best sex I’ve had, it’s not the size of the pecker I remember, it’s the whole package.
It’s the guys who took their time, who slowed things down and explored me from head to toe. The ones who genuinely cared about my pleasure and wanted to understand what really turned me on.
They might not have been blessed with the biggest kit, but they knew exactly how to use the tools they’d been given.
You may recognise me from some of the steamy stories I’ve covered over the years – from hush-hush high society sex soirees in Venice to entering an orgasm contest in New York to mark the 30th anniversary of When Harry Met Sally.
I’m The Sun’s Sexpert, and now I’m launching a new no-holds-barred sex series to answer YOUR biggest bedroom conundrums, sharing my wild real-life experiences and practical tips to help you fulfil your wildest dreams between the sheets.
If you’re struggling in the sack, hiding a secret kink or want any other advice, be sure to send in your sex conundrums using the form above.
Here I kick off by helping a reader out with an, ahem, small problem…
Q: I’m quite a big guy (6ft 2) so women always expect me to be well endowed, but my penis size is just 3.5 inches when erect.
Whenever I meet a woman I like, I start to dread getting it on as I’m worried I’m going to be a total flop.
I’m convinced my last serious relationship broke down because of the size of my manhood.
What’s more, I don’t think I’ve ever given a woman an orgasm. Some exes admitted to faking it to spare my feelings.
Now, if I meet a woman I like, I end up ghosting her before sex as I can’t handle the thought of disappointing her.
Is there a way I can still be a good lover when I’m not blessed downstairs?
Georgie says:
Contrary to common belief, you don’t need to be hung like a porn star to rock a woman’s world. When it comes to actual pleasure, technique trumps size every time.
And here’s the science bit. The average penis size is around 5.1 inches, and the vaginal canal is roughly 3 to 4 inches deep – so anything much bigger is actually a bit of a waste.
That said, if you’re short on inches and worried about hitting the spot there are lots of clever tips and tricks you can do to maximise contact and boost pleasure.
Because in the end, it’s not the size of the ship – it’s whether you know how to steer it…
When you’re fully in the moment, you’re more in tune with your own body – and your partner’s.
You can read their reactions, adjust your touch, pace, and position, and make everything feel more intense and pleasurable.
One of my worst sexual encounters? With a ridiculously hot guy who was well above average… but who actually took a phone call mid-session! Yes really!
I had big expectations but despite his pornstar package, he was a total flop.
So here’s the deal: turn off your phone – and turn on your partner instead. Being present isn’t just polite – it’s one of the sexiest, most essential ingredients for great sex.
Use the 10:5:10 foreplay rule
A whopping 75 per cent of women won’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, so it’s time to prioritise your starters before diving into the main course.
Enter the 10:5:10 foreplay rule – a simple but seriously effective formula that always leaves me begging for more. And no, you don’t need a stopwatch to do it.
First 10 minutes: Focus on everything above the neck. That means deep kissing, lip biting, hair pulling, nibbling earlobes – basically, hitting all those glorious erogenous zones that get her mind and body in sync.
Next 5 minutes: Move south, from neck to belly button. Nipple play is key here – with 82 per cent of women reporting increased arousal from stimulation, it’s a guaranteed way to ramp things up.
Final 10 minutes: Now comes the grand finale – all the attention below the navel. This is clitoral central, so use your hands, your mouth, or bring in a toy to tease, tantalise and truly take your time.
Invest in a sex cushion
I’ll never forget the moment an ex – let’s call him Mark – whipped out this inflatable sex cushion and started blowing it up.
I won’t lie, it didn’t look like the sexiest contraption, but looks can definitely be deceiving.
What really stuck with me was how Mark owned the fact he was below average and wasn’t afraid to try something innovative to up his bedroom game.
One of my worst sexual encounters? A guy who answered a phone call mid-session!Georgie Culley
And honestly? He was on to something.
The humble sex cushion is one of the greatest inventions ever. It helps you master nearly every position by supporting your body at just the right angles, so you get deeper thrusts and longer, stronger orgasms.
There are loads of sex aids out there, ranging from £17 to well over £100, but this one from Amazon is a winner – and it’s priced at £42.99.
Try the pairing technique
A helping hand – so to speak – during sex can make all the difference when it comes to helping a woman cross the finish line.
While vaginal penetration alone isn’t enough for most women to orgasm, adding clitoral stimulation – whether with fingers or a toy – can significantly boost both the likelihood and intensity of climax.
This technique is known as “pairing”, and so many women tell how it’s a total gamechanger for them.
One standout toy that’s firmly in my top drawer? Ann Summer’s Moregasm+ Clit Stim.
I’ll never forget the moment an ex whipped out an inflatable sex cushion and started blowing it upGeorgie Culley
Made from silky silicone that moulds beautifully to your body, it’s the perfect shape to slip between you during sex — without getting in the way.
Best bit? It stays on target, even when things get really steamy.
Improve hip flexibility
You don’t need to be a gymnast to level up your sex life — but improving your hip flexibility could seriously elevate your bedroom game.
Being a bit bendier between the sheets allows for deeper penetration, smoother thrusting and more adventurous positions without the awkward cramping.
The hip flexor stretch is a simple exercise to help open your hips.
Kneel on one knee, with the other foot in front at a 90-degree angle. Gently push your hips forward to stretch the front of your hip. Hold for 30 seconds each side.
Mix up your positions
Doggy style is a classic for a reason and my go-to position if a guy isn’t that well endowed.
That’s because it allows for deep penetration, so you can make the most of what you’ve got.
To do it, have your partner on all fours – or for even deeper sensations, on their elbows and knees – while you enter from behind.
It’s also great for pairing with a hand or a toy for extra pleasure.
Elevated reverse cowgirl is a twist on the usual. Your partner straddles you, but instead of facing you, they face away – towards your feet.
To give you extra depth, pop a pillow under your hips. You’ll be lying back on the bed or floor, while they sit on top, facing away, riding you.
The flatiron might sound like a hair tool, but it’s also a sizzling sex position. Have your girlfriend lie flat on their front, legs squeezed together.
Add a pillow under her pelvis to lift her hips slightly. You then lie on top and enter from behind.
The tightness of her thighs ups the friction and sensation – and helps both of you feel every inch.