By Jane O’gorman
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down. If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published. Some of Jane’s top advice over the last week: I’ve been having an affair with a local guy for months. I can’t help myself. I only have to look at him and beg him to rip my knickers off. Recently my husband organised one of his famous barbecues. He’s fastidious about the right charcoal, meat and marinades. He stocked up with beers and ciders and invited half the street. I got the shock of my life when my naughty lover rocked up. I couldn’t believe the audacity of the man – but I was hugely turned on too. Let’s just say that lots of cider was drunk and we ended up bonking in the garage. While my super-serious husband sizzled his sausages we were smokin’ on the chest freezer. Unfortunately, my stuck-up brother stumbled in looking for tongs and caught us. I begged him not to say a word, but he squealed like a pig. Now the whole family are against me. I’m public enemy number one. How do I brazen this one out? JANE SAYS: Messing on your own doorstep is never a good look. Your husband organised a fun event and you ruined it by drinking too much and embarrassing yourself. What is your husband saying? Is he prepared to forgive you or is this where you and he part? Have you and he been on the rocks for a while? I must question why you even started the affair with your neighbour in the first place. From where I’m sitting it sounds like you have a huge amount of apologising to do to all of those around you. Speak to your GP if alcohol has become a problem and own your behaviour. There can be no short cuts. If the suburban dream of family, barbecues and neighbours isn’t for you, then would you be better off living the single life? My wife and I have a joint account, yet I have no way of accessing our funds. I’ve never had a credit or debit card because she says I don’t need one – I’ll only lose it. Each week she gives me a cash allowance for my petrol and coffees she pays for everything else. Admittedly, we now have a very healthy balance, but my colleagues laugh at when I have no spare cash for leaving collections or an unplanned pint down the pub. How do I tackle this sensitive matter with her without starting a row? JANE SAYS: You and your wife are equal partners. If the current arrangement isn’t working, then you’re entitled to go back to the drawing board for a rethink. Make it clear that you’re not planning to go crazy but do need additional funds for the sake of your independence. There’s nothing stopping you from contacting your bank for a debit card of your own. It’s wonderful that you now have a decent nest egg for the future but there’s nothing like being spontaneous and seizing the day too. In she inclined to be controlling in general. Do other changes need to be made? My oldest friend is ignoring me, and I don’t know why. We last spoke in March. She was on great form and came up with dates for us to meet. She thought we should go to the seaside, the Tower of London and the Zoo and I said ‘yes’ to everything. Only I haven’t heard from her since. What did I do wrong? JANE SAYS: Are you inclined to go and see your friend face-to-face or send her an email or a letter? Can anyone else tell you what might be going on in her life? If you’re sure that you haven’t done anything wrong, then maybe you need to sit back and wait for her to come to you.