In 2011, my now-husband and I made a pilgrimage that was then common for gay couples: We went to Massachusetts to marry. The ceremony, on a beach in the small town of Marblehead, was wonderful. Our families visited from Venezuela, Spain and across the U.S. An older lesbian couple who watched from afar later told us that they had teared up from admiration at seeing a young gay couple publicly declare their love.
But when I went back home to Ohio, it was almost as if the wedding never happened. The state, where I still live, didn鈥檛 recognize same-sex marriages. For years, my husband and I couldn鈥檛 file taxes or claim benefits as a married couple. Only the Supreme Court鈥檚 2015 ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges 鈥 a case filed against Ohio鈥檚 health director 鈥 forced every state to legally recognize marriages like mine.
No policy decision has had more of an effect on my life. Of course, there鈥檚 the legal side 鈥 the taxes and government benefits. But there has also been a cultural shift. Growing up, my peers routinely used 鈥済ay,鈥 鈥渜ueer鈥 and the F-slur to insult each other. I distinctly remember a high school classmate interrupting health class to shout, 鈥淚t鈥檚 Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!鈥
Yet here was the country鈥檚 highest court legalizing my marriage. After the ruling, the president at the time, Barack Obama, celebrated the decision, lighting the White House in rainbow colors. I finally got the validation that teenage me, surrounded by bigotry, thought he never would.