By Coleen Nolan
I got into a big argument with my husband recently after suggesting taking our two kids away on holiday without him. He hasn鈥檛 been anywhere since before Covid 鈥 not even to visit his parents who live in Spain. I think he has some kind of mental block about being away from home, or maybe anxiety and even depression , because he won鈥檛 push himself out of his comfort zone. He works from home, so barely goes anywhere. I鈥檝e even suggested getting an Airbnb in this country for a week, but he just says: 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the point? The weather will be rubbish.鈥 He鈥檚 always got an excuse. The point for me is that we need a break and the kids need a change of scene. I feel like booking something and not giving him a say because I鈥檓 sick of his – attitude . I don鈥檛 want to be heartless and selfish, but why wouldn鈥檛 he want us to have a holiday, even if he鈥檇 rather stay at home? His reluctance to do anything or go anywhere is really affecting our marriage and I don鈥檛 know how much longer I can cope with it. Well, I think you have to tell him that 鈥 make him look at the bigger picture. It鈥檚 affecting your relationship and the -wellbeing of the family. From what you say, his issue stems from Covid and, in the aftermath of the lockdowns , lots of people鈥檚 mental health suffered. My ex, who I鈥檓 very good friends with, was affected by the enforced isolation and I know plenty of other people who felt the same. If there is some kind of fear lingering, then your husband would probably benefit from counselling. It鈥檚 whether he鈥檒l admit to it and accept help . If he鈥檚 just being miserable and can鈥檛 be bothered, then book you and the kids a holiday and don鈥檛 feel bad about it. You could even go with a mate or another relative and their kids. Sometimes having a break from each other helps you both see things from another perspective and makes you reflect on your own attitude too. You may feel more empathetic to how he feels and, if he sees you cracking on with it and having fun with the kids, he might not want to miss out on the next time.