A woman said that her neighbor and husband recently put her in an uncomfortable situation, and she’s now wondering how to “deal” with it.
The woman detailed her story on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek advice from other women.
In her post, the woman said that she and her husband have a neighbor who has been widowed for several years. She explained that they all “generally get on very well,” exchanging Christmas cards and helping each other out when needed.
However, the original poster (OP) went on to say that things recently got awkward while they were hanging out in her yard after a neighborhood barbeque.
“The three of us (me, [my husband], and neighbor) sat in the garden listening to music,” she said, adding, “then came the bit that shocked me.”
“There was a brief conversation about a new local massage center that we thought was a bit dodgy,” she said, adding, “Then, [the] neighbor volunteers that when she moved to the area with her former husband, she jokingly thought about setting up a fantasy style sex chat line.” She said that the neighbor then went “into detail” about how she would have theoretically operated the business.
The OP says she was caught off guard as their conversations had never previously strayed into “personal sexual areas,” adding, “I have only ever thought of her as a nice lady [around] my age.”
The woman said that she was then “mortified” when her husband chimed in that “he’d use her phone line.”
The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!
She said that she was “very tired” that evening and so did not tell her husband how upset the encounter made her feel, but that she woke up the following morning “thinking WTF happened last night and how do I deal with it?”
The OP said that her husband has since told her to “calm down,” as “it was just a joke.”
“[The] neighbor has invited us over for a BBQ,” the woman said at the end of her post, adding, “How would you deal with this situation?”
In a follow-up comment, the OP clarified that she was less concerned with the content of what the neighbor had said and was more bothered by the context in which it was said.
“If [the] neighbor had shared that with me while we were out one-on-one I would have reacted in a different way, and likely had a good laugh. But I don’t understand why she would share something like that with a couple. Hubby reacted enthusiastically about hearing her naughty side. The whole situation has given me the ick,” she explained.
A number of commenters said that they thought the OP was overreacting and that she should let the incident slide.
“You brought up massage parlors, OP. She didn’t start talking about it out of nowhere. Don’t overthink this and go to the BBQ,” said one person.
“What do you have to deal with? Just don’t bring it up again if you don’t want to talk about it,” added someone else.
Another person said, “I’d just think it was a joke. You’re all grown adults … Why shouldn’t she joke about sex?”
Others, however, agreed that the neighbor crossed a line and said they thought the OP was well within her right to feel uncomfortable.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“I would make it very clear to my husband he crossed the line, and I want him to have NOTHING to do with this neighbor at all. And certainly texting or speaking to her would be a big line crossed!” one person said, adding, “She was testing the water and flirting with your husband in front of you, and instead of shutting it down, he encouraged it!!”
“You seem determined to blame her, but your husband was the one who took it from business plan to personal and sleazy. He massively disrespected you, not her,” said someone else.