A woman got into an 鈥渆xtremely bad鈥 fight with her husband over his penchant for oversleeping, and now she thinks her marriage is 鈥渙ver.鈥
The 35-year-old detailed her story on the popular 鈥淎m I the A——?鈥 Reddit forum. In her post, the woman explained that she and her 39-year-old husband have been together for 17 years, and he has 鈥渁lways had trouble with mornings.鈥
鈥淗e’ll set three to four alarms over the course of an hour-and-a-half, usually between 9 to 10 [in the morning], and sleep through all of them. He’s super angry when he wakes up, whether I have a part in it or not,鈥 she said, adding that they own a business together and that he will often 鈥渟leep through their shared commitments鈥 if she doesn鈥檛 wake him up.
The original poster (OP) said that her husband is often 鈥渙ut tinkering in his shop鈥 鈥 sometimes until 5 a.m. 鈥 and drinks many beers while doing so.
Recently, after a 鈥渉ard week,鈥 the OP said that she and her husband agreed to spend an upcoming Sunday discussing their business and 鈥渙ngoing financial problems.鈥 They planned to start the discussion at 10:30 a.m.
However, the OP said that 10:30 a.m. came and went, and her husband continued to sleep. She finally attempted to wake him at 11:15 a.m. and told him that it seemed as though he was 鈥渁voiding鈥 the things they needed to discuss that day.
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鈥淭his turns into a one-hour fight where he tells me that he meant to set his alarm [and] it must not have saved. He also tells me that he is tired and shouldn’t have to wake up on a Sunday,” she said.
She went on to reveal that 鈥渢he fighting got extremely bad鈥 and left her 鈥渟obbing鈥 鈥 so she packed her things and drove five hours to her parents.
鈥淚 think my marriage is over, and I keep thinking, ‘Am I the a鈥— for expecting him to keep his promise to wake up? Or am I just crazy for doing this 1,000-plus times?’ 鈥 she said at the end of her post.
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The vast majority of commenters told the woman that she is in no way at fault in the situation 鈥 and that she made the right decision to leave.
鈥淣TA [not the a——],鈥 said one person, adding, 鈥淵ou do not need to be putting up with this treatment. He is the one staying up so late and drinking so he feels like s— all the time and can’t meet his commitments. Why should you accept literally any blame? This dude is not good.鈥
鈥淣TA 鈥 you made a decision together to be up at a certain time on Sunday. He was then upset when you tried to hold him accountable to his commitment,鈥 someone else said.
Another person said, 鈥淣TA. He has a problem that he鈥檚 not addressing. Whether it is drinking, sleep hygiene, insomnia, planning, or something else, it鈥檚 his responsibility to manage it. At the very least, he should talk to his doctor.鈥
The same person added, 鈥淎s for leaving, I think you did the right thing. You can drive yourself crazy trying to make someone see logic or your [point of view] when they won鈥檛 hear you. At some point, the only thing you can do is draw a line and then act in self-preservation. It鈥檚 up to him to decide if he鈥檚 going to let this be a wake-up call or not.鈥
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.